Maybe Therapy Isn’t Right for You (Right Now): A Caregiver’s Perspective
Hey there, my amazing caregivers! Okay, I know this might sound a little controversial, but stick with me for a moment: maybe therapy isn’t right for you. Not right now, at least. I know, I know—if you know me, you know I’m a huge believer in therapy. I think everyone could benefit from that non-judgmental, supportive space to deal with all the mess life throws at us. But here’s the thing—maybe you’re just not ready for therapy, and that’s totally okay.
If you’ve been feeling like you “should” be going to therapy, or guilty because everyone keeps telling you that you need to do self-care and go to therapy—trust me, you’re not alone. We live in a world that constantly tells us to practice self-care and dive deep into therapy. And while that advice is solid, therapy only works if you’re ready for it and actively participating.
Therapy Isn’t Easy—But It Can Be Worth It
Therapy isn’t a walk in the park. It can be uncomfortable. You have to sit with feelings you’d rather avoid, face the darker parts of yourself or your life that you’ve been trying to ignore, and, well, it’s not always fun. But in the long run, it can help you get through to the other side, feeling lighter and more empowered.
That said, not everyone is ready for that, and that’s perfectly fine. Maybe you’re in a phase where just getting through the day is hard enough. Maybe the thought of digging into heavy emotions sounds like too much to handle right now. Or maybe you’ve tried therapy before, and it just didn’t feel right. You could’ve had a bad experience with a therapist, and that’s valid too. Just because it didn’t work before doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you—it might just mean you didn’t find the right therapist. Trust is everything in a therapeutic relationship.
Therapy Only Works If You’re Ready
Here’s the truth: if you’re not ready to dig into those parts of yourself or your situation, it’s probably not going to help as much as you’d like. And guess what? That’s okay. Sometimes, you’re in survival mode, and you’re just trying to make it through the day. Diving into deep emotional work might feel like too much to ask, and that’s completely valid.
There are therapists out there (myself included!) who can help you figure out how to cope with your day-to-day struggles until you feel more stable and ready for the deeper work. But even then, you’ll need to make some sort of commitment to do things differently, which, yeah, can feel uncomfortable.
Therapy Is Just a Small Part of the Process
Let me be real with you: therapy is amazing, but it’s usually just 45 minutes to an hour a week. The real work happens in all the other hours of your week, where you’re processing, trying new things, and shifting how you approach life. You’ve probably heard this cliché before, but it’s true: if you want things to change, you have to do things differently. There’s no magic wand that lets you stay in your comfort zone while everything around you magically changes.
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But Maybe You’re Not Ready—and That’s Okay
So, back to the whole “maybe you’re not ready for therapy” thing—it’s totally okay. I’d rather you wait until you’re feeling curious about how things can be different than jump into therapy when you’re not ready. If you go into it expecting things to change without being open to making changes, you’ll likely feel disappointed and frustrated, and we don’t want that.
Instead, I invite you to reflect: Am I ready to invest this hour in myself? How will this hour of therapy serve me or hold me back? Am I open to making small changes in my life to see different outcomes?
Remember, none of this means you’re the problem or that you need fixing. You’re not broken—you’re human. Life is hard, and it’s especially hard as a caregiver. If you’re ready to explore new ways of thinking, feeling, and relating to the world around you, therapy can be a great tool for that. But if you’re not there yet, if you’re barely keeping your head above water, it’s okay to say, “I’m not ready.”
You Deserve to Take That Time—for Yourself
If you’re not ready for therapy right now, just keep it in the back of your mind. One day, when you do have that hour to invest in yourself, remember that you deserve it. You deserve the time, the space, and the support to be your best and most favorite version of yourself.
And when that day comes, therapy will be there to help you discover and embrace that version of you. Until then, give yourself grace. You’re doing amazing just getting through.
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