Let’s be real—dementia care is a rollercoaster. One minute, everything’s going smoothly. The next? Your client is convinced you’re their third-grade teacher, they’re trying to eat their hearing aid, and they’re halfway out the door in pajamas. No matter how much experience, training, or patience you bring to the table, dementia does what dementia does.
And that unpredictability? Exhausting.
You know what makes it even worse? Trying to control the uncontrollable.
No matter how skilled, compassionate, or dedicated you are, you can’t:
🚫 Stop the disease from progressing
🚫 Erase difficult behaviors
🚫 Magically transform family dynamics into something functional
But you can shift your focus to what’s actually within your control—your approach, your mindset, and your well-being. That’s where the real power lies.
What’s Not in Your Control (So Let That Go)
💔 Dementia’s progression – The disease is going to do its thing, no matter what.
💔 Unexpected behaviors – Agitation, confusion, resistance? They’ll show up even if you craft the world’s most perfect care plan.
💔 Family dynamics – If relationships were strained before dementia, they’re not magically healing now.
💔 Facility policies and staffing issues – You can advocate, but you can’t personally hire more staff or rewrite policies overnight.
Trying to change these things is like yelling at the ocean to stop making waves. It’s exhausting, pointless, and will only leave you feeling defeated. So instead, let’s talk about what you can control.
What Is in Your Control (So Lean Into It)
1. Your Response to Challenging Behaviors
You can’t stop someone from experiencing distress, but you can control how you respond.
- Are you meeting agitation with frustration—or with curiosity?
- Are you correcting them—or validating their feelings?
- Are you focusing on what they can’t do—or on what they can?
Dementia behaviors aren’t personal; they’re communication. Your ability to adapt, reframe, and redirect is your superpower.
2. Your Boundaries (Yes, You Need Them)
Compassionate care does not mean martyrdom.
You can’t pour from an empty cup (or an overfilled schedule). Protecting your energy isn’t selfish—it’s how you keep showing up.
✅ Say no to extra shifts when you need to
✅ Take your breaks (without guilt!)
✅ Remind yourself: You are a professional, not a miracle worker
3. The Way You Advocate for Your Clients
You may not be able to change all policies, but you can:
- Push for person-centered care, not just symptom management
- Educate families on realistic expectations
- Speak up when something isn’t working
Your voice matters—use it.
4. Finding Small Wins (Because They Matter)
Dementia care is a long game. If you only measure success by major milestones, you’ll burn out fast.
Instead, celebrate the small victories:
🎵 The nonverbal resident who smiled when you played their favorite song
💙 The client who accepted care today without resistance
😂 The moment of laughter you shared in between the harder moments
Small wins are the work.
5. Your Own Mental and Emotional Well-Being
Dementia care professionals are excellent at caring for others—and often terrible at caring for themselves. That has to change.
You can control whether you:
✅ Process the emotional weight of this work
✅ Take breaks without guilt
✅ Find supportive colleagues who get it
✅ Remember: You are a human first, professional second
Final Thoughts
You can’t stop dementia. You can’t fix family dynamics. You can’t control a coworker’s bad attitude.
But you can choose where to put your energy.
You can choose to meet your clients with patience and dignity.
You can choose to set boundaries that protect your longevity in this field.
At the end of the day, dementia care is about showing up, adjusting, and finding meaning in the moments you can shape.
💡 Focus on what’s yours to carry—and let the rest go.
Recent Comments